Now i sit all alone,
wishing all my feelings was gone.
I gave my best to you,
nothing for me to do,
but have one last cry.
One last cry before i leave it all behind,
i got to put you out of my mind, this time,
Stop living a lie.
I guess i'm down to my last cry.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
What really went down on my birthday
So if you follow me on tweeter, you might or might not have read my super emo tweets on my bday, saying that it was probably gonna be the worst if things didn't look up. Well, i would like to share my reasons for tweeting such things, and what actually happened.
You can see me hiding behind baby coz i was damn paiseh already
So my bday fell on a monday, 12th of april. The Saturday n Sunday before that i had a good time celebrating with my family and was looking forward to the monday to spend with friend's and the bf.
Sunday night he called me at midnight to wish me, but we only talked for a few minutes coz he was out with his friends. Its ok, its just one night right. I thought he would ask me to meet him in the morning the next day coz he had to go to office to get some stuff anyway. But no, he said he'll meet me after lunch coz he already promised to bring along his friend to work, coz they wanted to go buy helicopter parts after that.
Ok fine, its just morning right? We still have the whole day ahead of us. Lunch then became afternoon. He said he had to delay things, and that he would just pick me up at 6 from my place. At this point i was already getting super aggitated coz i mean, come on. Its my birthday! Cant you save your things and do them on any other day of the week!
But still, at least he's picking me up right? Sigh. I called him at 5.45 just to check whether he was on his way and guess what? He told me that he'll meet me at Eunos MRT at 7.30 instead. I ask him why and he says coz he's tired to drive all the way to jurong ^*&%^$$%#%$@$&%^(&()*()&*%
I was so angry i couldnt stop myself from asking "and just what were you doing from just now that made you so tired?" He nonchalantly replied that he was fixing his effing helicopter. That was when i couldnt take it no more. HELLO?? On MY birthday??? I just told him oh and hung up he phone. I called my mum sobbing i tell you.
Who wouldnt be upset? I was so tempted to tell him that i didnt want to go out anymore, so i could hide under the covers and wallow in self pity. But of course i didnt. I was curious to see how much worse it could get, and was planning to remind him everyday i meet him so that he suffers. Heh
I reach eunos and he STILL makes me wait. Eh not 5 min ok, HALF AND HOUR. At this point im more upset than angry and choose to give him the silent treatment when he finally pulls up. Apologising, he says that we have to head down to his friend's shop coz one of her glass door panels broke. Angry i ask, "her husband cannot help meh must ask you". Thats how irritated i was. I was even irritated at his friend for even asking him to help knowing it was my birthday!
Selfish, i know. But all the frustration from the whole day was getting to me. When we reached the shop i told him to make it quick and to tell them that we were in a rush to leave for dinner, and to not ask anyone along coz i didnt really feel like entertaining company.
When we finally left, his other friend called saying he needs help jump starting his car. He was at Costa Sands Pasir Ris and couldnt go home coz his car wont start. Seriously???? Wah i was really upset and thought that it was not my day. Maybe these are signs to as how the whole year will be.
Upon arriving at Costa Sands, his friend was nowhere in sight. Wah, ask people for help and you cant even bother to wait by your car? Bf persuaded me to go get him from the chalet. Aiyo, i kept asking him? I didnt want to go coz i knew his his friend's might be around but he kept on insisting!
Some of it might have guessed it, but not me. I was so mad that i was oblivious to everything. When we reached his "friend's" chalet, i suddenly heard people singing happy birthday. Eh wait, i know those people! And yada yada yada.. you know how the rest goes!
At the end of the day, i was sincerely touched by his effort and all the thought put into it. I mean, if you know my bf personally, u def know that he's not a heart and flowers kinda guy. And surprises are DEF not his thing. But for him to do all that for me really means alot. <3>
You can see me hiding behind baby coz i was damn paiseh already
Maria, my confidante
Did i mention he got me 2 cakes? :)
All i can say is he better watch out for his birthday!!
Monday, April 26, 2010
A case of the ex
We all have embarrassing ex boyfriend's that we will never admit we were with, ex boyfriend's that were super lousy and we complain about till this day, and of course, the all famous "one who got away" ex boyfriend.
Different people react differently to break ups. Of course, it also depends on the situations and circumstances in which u broke up in. There are many kind of ex's. The psychotic and never wants to move on kind, the.... eh wait. I seem to only know the psychotic kind. Why you might ask? Well, the reason is fairly simple. Because my boyfriend of almost 3 years now, has a PSYCHOTIC BITCH of an ex girlfriend!!
Rough background info on them, they were together for 7 years (insert gasp here), and already got engaged (insert 2nd gasp here). However, he broke it off with her when his own nephew saw her outside with another guy (insert kwang kwang kwang here).
They broke up in april, i think, and me and him got together in sep. And i tell you, the number of times i have heard about her are uncountable. Not only do our names rhyme, so people tend to stutter when calling me, but i even used to see lots of photos of her around his house (dont worry, they were all donated to my good friend the rubbish chute!)
At the beginning i tried to be the "understanding" gf.. I mean come one la, they were together for 7 years, they're bound to have some sort of friendship left right? Wrong. She was out to get him back. And she didnt even bother hiding it! She still put up photos of them on friendster (last time no FB ok, so dont laff), and commented on his wall with stupid shit like "10 reasons why i love you". Mind you, she already knew at this point that i was with him!!! The nerve she had.
So of course i had to step in and do something. Easiest thing for me to do was give him an ultimatum, me or her. He chose me over that stupid bitch and i made him promise that he would make an effort to erase any presence of her from our lives. (Trust me, even mentioning her name would earn him a super evil stare and i would get super mad after that)
I never thought i would be the jealous gf kind, but boy, i was more than jealous. I tell you there was one point in time i became obsessed with trying to erase her from our life. I have good reasons to be that way though! She will never fail to try and come up with a way to either text him or email him. Sometimes its something stupid like forwarding a chain email, or texting him happy birthday. Now tell me i dont have a reason to be mad.
After being together for some time, things have slowly died down abit. She is already engaged and soon to be married to someone else. Proof that she is psycho? Her fiance is my bf's brother's friend. She just had to go for someone in the same circle of people.
And i know im being abit petty about this last part, but it irks to me to death that now she has started adding my bf's siblings and friend's on her FB. I know it shouldnt bother me but it just does. And if anyone else was in my position, i know it would bother u too.
Sigh, so what kind of ex gf are you???
Different people react differently to break ups. Of course, it also depends on the situations and circumstances in which u broke up in. There are many kind of ex's. The psychotic and never wants to move on kind, the.... eh wait. I seem to only know the psychotic kind. Why you might ask? Well, the reason is fairly simple. Because my boyfriend of almost 3 years now, has a PSYCHOTIC BITCH of an ex girlfriend!!
Rough background info on them, they were together for 7 years (insert gasp here), and already got engaged (insert 2nd gasp here). However, he broke it off with her when his own nephew saw her outside with another guy (insert kwang kwang kwang here).
They broke up in april, i think, and me and him got together in sep. And i tell you, the number of times i have heard about her are uncountable. Not only do our names rhyme, so people tend to stutter when calling me, but i even used to see lots of photos of her around his house (dont worry, they were all donated to my good friend the rubbish chute!)
At the beginning i tried to be the "understanding" gf.. I mean come one la, they were together for 7 years, they're bound to have some sort of friendship left right? Wrong. She was out to get him back. And she didnt even bother hiding it! She still put up photos of them on friendster (last time no FB ok, so dont laff), and commented on his wall with stupid shit like "10 reasons why i love you". Mind you, she already knew at this point that i was with him!!! The nerve she had.
So of course i had to step in and do something. Easiest thing for me to do was give him an ultimatum, me or her. He chose me over that stupid bitch and i made him promise that he would make an effort to erase any presence of her from our lives. (Trust me, even mentioning her name would earn him a super evil stare and i would get super mad after that)
I never thought i would be the jealous gf kind, but boy, i was more than jealous. I tell you there was one point in time i became obsessed with trying to erase her from our life. I have good reasons to be that way though! She will never fail to try and come up with a way to either text him or email him. Sometimes its something stupid like forwarding a chain email, or texting him happy birthday. Now tell me i dont have a reason to be mad.
After being together for some time, things have slowly died down abit. She is already engaged and soon to be married to someone else. Proof that she is psycho? Her fiance is my bf's brother's friend. She just had to go for someone in the same circle of people.
And i know im being abit petty about this last part, but it irks to me to death that now she has started adding my bf's siblings and friend's on her FB. I know it shouldnt bother me but it just does. And if anyone else was in my position, i know it would bother u too.
Sigh, so what kind of ex gf are you???
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wishlist
So coz my birthday is coming up in less than a week, close friend's and family around me have been asking what i want for my birthday, and how i wanna celebrate. Got me thinking too, coz as my family might know, i'm really big on birthday's. i swear to god, i love everything about them. it doesn't even have to be mine. i even love planning birthday's for others. so much that i think if all else fails, i think i should just become a birthday party planner! haha. anyways
1) Def want a cake this year, think the last time i had one was..... wait a minute, i cant even remember when!
2) Want a good family sit down dinner
3) Expecting the bf to plan something, i dont want to be the one who call's the shots for once
4) Hoping close friend's will have something planned.. maybe dinner and drinks? And unlike other years, i hope those who promise to come actually do come in the end
5) Gifts of course! Looking at some new tshirts, bodyshop makeup and goodies, a new bag and slippers! actually i really really want a camera la, but i think its too much of an expensive gift to ask for
6) To get drunk! come on la, i didnt event get drunk on my 18th, i so want to get drunk on my 20th. training for my 21st ya know. haha
7) Maybe its too much to ask for but im hoping that i get at least one surprise. haha
ok im gonna randomly stop at 7 coz i really cant think of anything else. ahahha... anyway, will update with pics. laters!!
1) Def want a cake this year, think the last time i had one was..... wait a minute, i cant even remember when!
2) Want a good family sit down dinner
3) Expecting the bf to plan something, i dont want to be the one who call's the shots for once
4) Hoping close friend's will have something planned.. maybe dinner and drinks? And unlike other years, i hope those who promise to come actually do come in the end
5) Gifts of course! Looking at some new tshirts, bodyshop makeup and goodies, a new bag and slippers! actually i really really want a camera la, but i think its too much of an expensive gift to ask for
6) To get drunk! come on la, i didnt event get drunk on my 18th, i so want to get drunk on my 20th. training for my 21st ya know. haha
7) Maybe its too much to ask for but im hoping that i get at least one surprise. haha
ok im gonna randomly stop at 7 coz i really cant think of anything else. ahahha... anyway, will update with pics. laters!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
internSHIT
So it’s been slightly more than half a year that I have been with this company for my internship. Before we started our internship, I never would have believed that it was such a bad thing. I mean, learning on the job, how hard could it be?
Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone, and for those of my classmates who got into places where they are happy in, I truly am envious. Maybe I am not enjoying things because of the company I am in. In all honestly I think if someone else was in my shoes, they wouldn’t find it as hard as I do.
The first thing that turned me off the most was the fact that I soon realized how widely inhabited this industry is by china people. Obviously I can’t speak mandarin, or any other Chinese lingo. On top of that, I am also the only non speaking mandarin staff here, and often feel left out during their conversations.
Second big turn off was when I found out my boss was a huge hypocrite and even bigger asshole. Shall not go into further details, but trust me when I say my impression given of the company during the interview was def not how it turned out to be.
Not everything is completely the company’s fault. To their benefit I will admit that I don’t have the patience to be a travel agent. I thought the job was easy. Being an avid traveler who is always looking for new places to go to, why wouldn’t I like working in an agency right? Wrong!
There’s so much more detail that goes into the job and it frustrates the heck out of me that nothing is ever straightforward. Also, the customers that call in are horrible. There was once a lady even shouted at me over the phone just coz she didn’t feel that I was being as helpful as she wanted me to be. The flight was full lady, what did you want me to do? Get you a seat on the wing?
Being from Shatec, I have had more than my fair share of customer service experiences, so don’t think that I don’t know my stuff. I just think that I was not cut out to work in this company, maybe not even hold this position.
I doubt I will ever work in a travel agency again. Sigh.
Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone, and for those of my classmates who got into places where they are happy in, I truly am envious. Maybe I am not enjoying things because of the company I am in. In all honestly I think if someone else was in my shoes, they wouldn’t find it as hard as I do.
The first thing that turned me off the most was the fact that I soon realized how widely inhabited this industry is by china people. Obviously I can’t speak mandarin, or any other Chinese lingo. On top of that, I am also the only non speaking mandarin staff here, and often feel left out during their conversations.
Second big turn off was when I found out my boss was a huge hypocrite and even bigger asshole. Shall not go into further details, but trust me when I say my impression given of the company during the interview was def not how it turned out to be.
Not everything is completely the company’s fault. To their benefit I will admit that I don’t have the patience to be a travel agent. I thought the job was easy. Being an avid traveler who is always looking for new places to go to, why wouldn’t I like working in an agency right? Wrong!
There’s so much more detail that goes into the job and it frustrates the heck out of me that nothing is ever straightforward. Also, the customers that call in are horrible. There was once a lady even shouted at me over the phone just coz she didn’t feel that I was being as helpful as she wanted me to be. The flight was full lady, what did you want me to do? Get you a seat on the wing?
Being from Shatec, I have had more than my fair share of customer service experiences, so don’t think that I don’t know my stuff. I just think that I was not cut out to work in this company, maybe not even hold this position.
I doubt I will ever work in a travel agency again. Sigh.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Up up and away!!
They always say that girls love shopping, and boys love their toys. To a certain extent, i do believe this is true. But eversince 2010 has started, i now FULLY understand what it means.
Curious? Well, its started off with kites. Baby and his friend's thought it would be fun to find a different hobby since Singapore has become so mundane lately. This hobby of their's lasted exactly 2 weeks. And by the end of the 2nd week, they had each purchased at least one kite for themselves, a reel, extra string and lights to put on their kite. Me and baby got a baby penguin! I have to admit it was pretty cute, and the kites were pretty cheap. Plus, us girls got to sit and chat while the boys ran all around the field.
But, when it came to flying their kites at 2 o clock in the morning, it wasnt fun no more!! They also dragged me down to sengkang every day for a week!! So yea, you can bet how happy i was that they lost interest after that. I thought they would just go back to the normal stuff they did.
Boy, was i wrong. It became worse. The next obsession they found was helicopters. All because baby's friend bought a heli simulator. Sigh. So of course, baby had to go buy one. Then, his fren went out and actually bought a remote controlled helicopter. That was the day he called me at work asking if i wanted to share money with him to buy one too. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
For those who think im being stingy, let me tell you the freaking helicopter costs 100 plus, and its tiny. I gave in, but luckily he changed his mind after that. Before i could heave a sigh of relief, i soon found out why.
.....................................
Coz he wanted to buy an aeroplane instead!! And you know whats the price difference?? This aeroplane would cost us 500 bucks. Yes, i kidd you not. 500 whopping dollars for and electronic plane that is made of STYROFOAM! And the most annoying thing? He went and bought it firstm then consulted me later. I tell you isuper irritated.
If you think thats the end of the story, think again. Now all ive been hearing for the past 2 weeks is aeroplane this, simulator that. Im so freaking bored i tell you. Now he eats, sleeps, breathes aeroplane!! And again, im in second place. Sigh.
So guys out there, please stop complaining that all you do is run around after your gf while she shops. There are girls like me who run around after their bf while he flies planes and whatnot!! Im gonna find something really expensive and annoying and ask him to buy for me.. haha
Meet my competition :
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Things you want to do in life, before its too late
Me and paul are doing the same post coz we were discussing this on msn and realized that there are so many things that we still wanna do in life, that the best way is to list everything out! Btw, the list is in random order!
1> Go sky diving
2> Go bunjee jumping
3> Become a cabin crew, air stewardess, whatever you want to call it
4> Travel to all those places that i've always wanted to go to (australia, europe etc)
5> Go backpacking
6> Get my divemaster license and work as a freelance diver
7> Go CWC and stay there for like months doing nothing other than wakeboarding everyday
8> Attend a yacht party
9> Go on a Star Virgo cruise to langkawi or something
10> Go for an outward bound course
11> Dive with whale sharks
12> Go swimming with dolphins
13> Get my freaking bike license
14> Try off road dirt biking
15> Dive some of the best dive sites in the world
16> Stay in a 5 star penthouse suite
17> Live on a boathouse
18> Smoke weed
19> Go for the full moon beach party on Koh Phangan
20> Go for a grade 5 white water rafting session
21> Meet a super famous person. I'm talking brad pitt here, not gurmit singh.
22> Hike up a volcano
23> Party at some of the most happening places in the world
24> Become a model for a month
25> Win a lucky draw contest that has a super huge prize
26> See the northern lights in alaska
27> Go on an alaskan cruise
28> Learn french
29> Take up a professional make up course
30> Learn how to flair bartend
31> Live with a bunch of friend's in the same house
32> Go to more concerts
33> Visit six flags magic mountain, hershey's chocolate world, and every other major theme park in america
34> Gold coast, Sea world, you get the drift
35> Celebrate Lo Tomatina in Spain
36> Stay at a 5 star spa resort and experience what it feel's like to be really pampered
37> Stay at the Burj Al Arab
38> Go for Oktoberfest in Germany
39> Go snowboarding in Chamonix
40> Head down to Miami and Cabo for spring break
41> Learn how to surf properly
42> Get a sky diving license
43> Become a professional blogger
44> Go to Club Med Maldives
45> Join the Amazing Race
46> Get front row seats to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show
47> Walk "over" the Sydney Harbour Bridge
48> Go on a boat ride on the Maiden of Mist at Niagara Falls
50> Meet dirt bike legends Travis Pastrana and Jolene Van Vugt
I know there's so much more i wanna do, but i'm gonna stop at 50, coz this is all i can think of at the moment. Go to http://uniquelykwerky.livejournal.com/ to read paul's top 100 thing's to do before it's too late! :)
1> Go sky diving
2> Go bunjee jumping
3> Become a cabin crew, air stewardess, whatever you want to call it
4> Travel to all those places that i've always wanted to go to (australia, europe etc)
5> Go backpacking
6> Get my divemaster license and work as a freelance diver
7> Go CWC and stay there for like months doing nothing other than wakeboarding everyday
8> Attend a yacht party
9> Go on a Star Virgo cruise to langkawi or something
10> Go for an outward bound course
11> Dive with whale sharks
12> Go swimming with dolphins
13> Get my freaking bike license
14> Try off road dirt biking
15> Dive some of the best dive sites in the world
16> Stay in a 5 star penthouse suite
17> Live on a boathouse
18> Smoke weed
19> Go for the full moon beach party on Koh Phangan
20> Go for a grade 5 white water rafting session
21> Meet a super famous person. I'm talking brad pitt here, not gurmit singh.
22> Hike up a volcano
23> Party at some of the most happening places in the world
24> Become a model for a month
25> Win a lucky draw contest that has a super huge prize
26> See the northern lights in alaska
27> Go on an alaskan cruise
28> Learn french
29> Take up a professional make up course
30> Learn how to flair bartend
31> Live with a bunch of friend's in the same house
32> Go to more concerts
33> Visit six flags magic mountain, hershey's chocolate world, and every other major theme park in america
34> Gold coast, Sea world, you get the drift
35> Celebrate Lo Tomatina in Spain
36> Stay at a 5 star spa resort and experience what it feel's like to be really pampered
37> Stay at the Burj Al Arab
38> Go for Oktoberfest in Germany
39> Go snowboarding in Chamonix
40> Head down to Miami and Cabo for spring break
41> Learn how to surf properly
42> Get a sky diving license
43> Become a professional blogger
44> Go to Club Med Maldives
45> Join the Amazing Race
46> Get front row seats to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show
47> Walk "over" the Sydney Harbour Bridge
48> Go on a boat ride on the Maiden of Mist at Niagara Falls
50> Meet dirt bike legends Travis Pastrana and Jolene Van Vugt
I know there's so much more i wanna do, but i'm gonna stop at 50, coz this is all i can think of at the moment. Go to http://uniquelykwerky.livejournal.com/ to read paul's top 100 thing's to do before it's too late! :)
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